Year after year, December is one of the most high-risk times for people experiencing family violence, with the period between 25 December and 1 January often being well above the yearly daily average for family violence incidents, according to Crime Statistics Agency (CSA) data. 

Their figures show that during December 2023, there was an average of 279 family violence incidents per day recorded by Victoria Police. This average increased by 33 per cent on Christmas Day, with 372 family violence incidents recorded. That’s an average of one incident every four minutes.  This is also a very busy time for frontline support services who remain open and ready to assist people experiencing violence over this period. 

 As we brace for another spike over the holidays, I want to emphasise that one woman lost at the hands of men’s violence is one too many.  This year, at least 98 women* have been murdered – and these are only the known cases. There is no official count of family violence homicides, and many victims remain invisible – meaning the true number of deaths is likely much higher than we know. This is the tragic tip of a much larger iceberg.  

Why are the holidays such a high-risk time? 

Family violence is complex – there’s no one particular reason why we see an increase in incidents over the holidays. Some exacerbating factors include increased time at home with the perpetrator, increased use of alcohol and other drugs, and increased levels of financial stress.   

However, it’s important to remember that while these things may exacerbate family violence, they are not the underlying cause. Violence is always a choice.   

But it doesn’t have to be like this. Family and gender-based violence is preventable. It’s everybody’s business, and everybody’s responsibility, every day of the year – we all have a role to play here.  

We know that many people experiencing family violence will never contact the police or reach out for support on their own. Often, it is the people closest to them – their friends, family, neighbours or colleagues – who will be the only ones to notice something is wrong. It’s crucial we all know how to recognise the signs and respond if someone we know is unsafe. 

How can I tell it’s family violence?   

Family violence can take many forms – physical, emotional, financial – and it’s common for a victim survivor to experience several of these. Certainly, physical signs – like unexplained cuts and bruises – are a big red flag, but there are other, more subtle things to look out for.  

Your loved one may be hard to contact, or seem withdrawn and depressed. They may seem particular on edge or anxious when their partner is around. That person may be controlling and jealous, or might call and text your loved one incessantly.  

The main thing is to trust your gut. If you feel like something is wrong, don’t ignore it. 

What can I do to help?   

Find a way to speak with your loved one alone, away from their abuser. Gently share what is worrying you, and ask them if they feel safe. If you’re unsure what to say, this conversation guide is a handy tool. 

Importantly, always approach with kindness and compassion. Don’t judge or blame, and don’t tell them to ‘just leave’. There are many reasons why someone might be unable to leave an abusive relationship. Respect what they’re ready and willing to do and focus on what they need from you. 

If they’re not ready or willing to talk, that’s okay – just let them know you’ll be there for them whenever they need you. 

If they do need help, some practical things you can do include helping them connect with a specialist family violence service. If you’re unsure of what services are available, a good place to start is the list of Victorian services on the Are You Safe At Home? website.   

You can also create a safety plan together, which might include agreeing on a code word or signal they can use if they’re in danger, and keeping copies of important documents at your home in case they need to leave quickly. Even offering things like childcare or assistance with errands can be incredibly helpful and can give them the space to make a plan. 

Knowing someone you care about is experiencing abuse can be deeply upsetting, and it can be hard to know what to do. But you certainly don’t need to be an expert – even the smallest steps can have a huge impact.

This opinion piece first appeared in the Herald Sun (print edition) on 22 December 2024. You can view the original article here.

For 24/7 family violence crisis support and accommodation in Victoria, contact Safe Steps on 1800 015 188. For support and information in other states and territories, contact 1800RESPECT or 1800 737 732.  

If you or someone you know may be at risk of using family violence, contact the Men’s Referral Service on 1300 766 491. 

If someone is in immediate danger, always call Triple Zero (000).  

*There is no complete and official list of every woman and child murdered in Australia. At the time of publishing this article, Destroy the Joint has reported 75 women killed this year. Australian Femicide Watch has recorded 98 women who have lost their lives to violence. 
 
While these numbers are shocking, they are only the ones we know about. Many deaths go unreported and unrecognised as family violence, meaning the true number of women and children killed is likely far greater.  

I’d like to welcome you all here tonight on behalf of Safe and Equal. We hope that you enjoyed the last two days of the PreventX conference. We’re really pleased to be able to present this in-person event as part of the conference.

We’re here tonight to hear some wonderful pitches from practitioners about the next big things in primary prevention. But just to warm up the stage, I wanted to start by giving my own three-minute pitch – about why working in prevention is something that more people should do.

So, here goes:

Are you passionate about changing the world?

Do you want to end family and gender-based violence?

Well – imagine getting paid to do all that!

You’ll get to work with some amazing people, who are committed to social change, just like you. And we’re a bunch who really like interaction, and lots of it – conferences, events, networking, meetings – actually, maybe a few too many meetings.

Anyway, it’s a good thing – because we’re up and out there all the time, changing minds and changing systems that enable violence. You can join the Partners in Prevention network, and a bunch of others like the MAV network and regional women’s health partnerships. So really, you’ll never feel alone – and you won’t be able to escape a community of practice, even if you try.

I’m not going to kid you – it’s not always an easy job. You’ll end up in rooms where you hear attitudes and opinions that make you wither on the inside. You’ll be told that we’re all equal now, so why do women keep complaining? You’ll be told men have it so hard these days, because they have to worry about consent.

Your difficult job is to be curious and delve further to see if you can shift those ideas.

Sometimes, you have to give up and move on. But so often you’ll see the attitudes shift as people realise that there’s a different and better way to look at things. And don’t worry – we’ll arm you with lots of cool statistics, messaging strategies, and a few handy legal and regulatory frameworks. Plus, we have this really great national framework called Change the Story, and a bunch of evidence-based frameworks specifically for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities, women living with disability, LGBTIQ+ communities, and refugee and migrant communities. And we’ll word you up on all the technical bits – like drivers and socio-ecological models and stuff like that.

It might seem a bit complicated – but don’t be phased. Upstream drivers are really simple: you change ideas and you change society so that violence is no longer a choice. It takes a long time, but you get to see change every day, in small ways – and that’s the best bit.

There are so many choices about where you can do this work. There’s schools, councils, workplaces, universities and TAFEs. There’s family violence services, sexual violence services, women’s health services, sexual health services, community services, and many more. We’re all across the state and the country – not just metro – and we work with and for a range of communities. You can be a trainer, policy officer, group facilitator, network convenor, project manager, and so many more.

Many of us describe ending up in prevention as ‘an accident’, so you won’t be out of place. We come from lots of different backgrounds: public health and health promotion, international development, communications, political science, even some theatre and fine art majors (you’ll be able to pick those ones). Also, it’s a growth industry. More and more people are choosing prevention.

So get into it, and give it a go!

This year, 35 women have already been killed by men’s violence in Australia^. This is unacceptable, and signals that we have a long way to go to eliminate family and gender-based violence in this country.  

For many of us, this can often feel overwhelming and frustrating. Why aren’t we doing more? Is it completely hopeless? Will this never end? 

But the reality is, it doesn’t have to be like this. Family violence is entirely preventable. And as individuals, we all have a part to play in preventing it. 

Of course, government plays a significant role. We need ongoing commitment and investment from all levels of government, to increase funding for the specialist family violence services who support victim survivors, and for prevention initiatives to stop violence before it starts. This is crucial. 

But as individuals, we also have an important role to play. 

Recently, I spoke to the team at Future Women as part of their outstanding podcast series, ‘There’s No Place Like Home.’ The series focuses on the warning signs of domestic violence, and what friends and family can look out for. 

As discussed in the podcast, for many victim survivors it is the people closest to them who will be the first to notice something isn’t right. It is these people – the best mates, the work colleagues, the next-door neighbours – who are in a unique position to offer support and make a difference. 

Maybe you’ve seen some concerning signs, things that feel like red flags. But maybe you don’t know what to say, or how to help.  

The first thing I would say is don’t ignore that instinct. Chances are, your gut is right.  

But what if you’re not sure it’s family violence? 

 

Family violence isn’t just physical abuse. 

Family violence can take many forms – physical, emotional, financial – and it’s common for a victim survivor to experience several of these.   

But there’s one term that people have been talking about a lot lately, and that is coercive control. 

Coercive control is a phrase that has become more commonly used in recent years but can be tricky to understand. Basically, coercive control is a pattern of abusive behaviours and tactics used by a perpetrator to gain power and control over a victim survivor. 

Some examples of how coercive control can manifest in many different and overlapping include: 

• Isolating someone from their family and friends  
• Controlling what someone wears 
• Gaslighting, constant criticism and humiliation  
• Jealous and possessive behaviours, like constantly accusing someone of cheating or being flirtatious 

Because abusers can be very good at hiding or masking their behaviour, coercive control can be quite difficult to clearly define or see from the outside. It can be as subtle as a look or a word. An action that seems harmless on the surface can cause a victim survivor to feel incredibly fearful. It’s this feeling of fear that an abuser will use as a way to exert control.  

So – you’ve noticed something is wrong and you want to do something about it. But what do you do? 

 

1. Start small.

One of the most common things we hear from friends or family members is that they are really worried about their loved one but have no idea how to bring it up. Much of this fear is rooted in feeling like they’ll say the wrong thing, that they’ll upset the person or cause them to retreat.  

While this can be a risk, it’s really important to say something if you are concerned. Abusers are banking on everybody staying silent and looking the other way. It’s this silence that allows the violence to thrive.  

You can start small by finding a time to talk with them alone, in-person, and preferably out of their own home, in case their abuser is using spyware to monitor them. Invite them for a walk or to your place for a coffee. 

It can be awkward to start the conversation, so I’d suggest checking in with them. You can ask how they’re feeling, or how things are going at home. If you feel ready, you can gently share some of the things that have been worrying you. Some examples include: 

“I’ve noticed [your partner] calls and texts you a lot, and you seem stressed when you’re talking to him. Is everything okay?” 

“I’ve been worried about you. I’ve noticed some things in your relationship that are concerning me. Can we talk about it?”  

Even if the conversation doesn’t go the way you planned, at the very least you have planted a seed. Your friend will know that someone is noticing what is going on, and cares about their well-being. 

 

2. Boost their confidence. 

Perpetrators of family violence are experts at eroding a victim’s self-esteem, to the point where they might feel like they deserve the abuse, or that what’s happening to them is normal. 

Think about it this way – if someone is constantly putting you down and making you feel worthless, eventually you might start to believe it. Over time it can become extremely difficult for a victim to see clearly that what is happening to them is not okay, and that it’s not their fault. 

I like to tell friends and family members who are worried that their biggest job is to bring some of that confidence and self-worth back – so the person experiencing family violence can start to see that they deserve a life free from abuse.  

That seems like a big task, but it can be done in little ways. Remaining judgement-free and gently reminding the person that what is happening isn’t their fault is a good start. 

Tell them they’re important to you – that you care about them, and they don’t deserve what is happening to them.  

Even if they don’t believe you at first, over time these few small actions can make a huge difference. 

 

3. Don’t say, ‘why don’t you just leave?’ 

There are a few reasons for this.  

First and foremost – one of the most high-risk times for a victim survivor is just before and during the first few months after they leave a violent relationship. Women are at most risk of being killed or seriously injured during this time. It’s important that if your loved one wants to leave, they have a safety plan in place (more detail about this below). 

Additionally, part of building up someone’s confidence and self-esteem is to support them to take control of their choices and actions. The ability to make their own decisions is precisely what their abuser is taking away from them.  

Victim survivors know what they need to be safe, and they’re the experts in managing their own risk. Sometimes safety looks like remaining in the relationship with some supports in place, or until they can safely leave. 

While you might feel frustrated that your friend hasn’t immediately left the relationship, you need to trust that they know what’s best for them at that moment. 

 

4. Listen to what they need and offer practical support. 

It can be hard to not immediately jump in with suggestions of what you would do if you were in their shoes. But again – part of building up their confidence and self-esteem is listening and respecting their autonomy.  

Ask them, ‘what can I do to help?’, or ‘what do you need from me?’. 

Offer support with practical things, like childcare or running errands. This can give your friend the space to breathe and consider their next steps.  

Help them make a safety plan. It can include things like: 

• A code word that they can use to let you know they need police assistance 
• Teaching their children to run to a neighbour if the house isn’t safe, or how to dial 000 and ask for police 
• An overnight bag filled with clothes, medications and copies of keys that they can grab if they need to leave quickly 
• Keeping copies of their important documents at your house 

You can let them know about specialist family violence services that are available and offer to help them make contact. You can call national hotlines like 1800 RESPECT, or find a service in their local area. If you’re unsure of what services are available, a good place to start is the list of services on the Are You Safe At Home? website. 

If they’re employed, you can let them know they are entitled to 10 days paid domestic and family violence leave – this came into effect this year, and everybody is entitled to it, even casual employees. 

 

5. They don’t want to talk? Don’t push them. 

Talking about abuse is really hard. Unfortunately, there’s still a lot of shame and stigma that exists around family violence. There’s also a lot of fear – many victim survivors are terrified if they talk about the abuse, their perpetrator will find out. 

For whatever reason, if your friend isn’t ready to talk or acknowledge what is happening – this is okay. 

Don’t pressure them if they’re uncomfortable. Even though you might be really worried, or think you’re being helpful, you may inadvertently make them close off to you. 

If you sense it’s not the right time, or that they don’t want to talk, just let them know you care and you’ll be there when they’re ready. 

 

6. Look after yourself. 

There’s no way around it – this stuff is really hard and can take an emotional toll. It’s scary and upsetting to know someone you care about is being abused. It can feel overwhelming and draining. But remember – you’re not expected to ‘save’ your loved one or solve the family violence on your own. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed, there are services available to support friends and family members too. You can always call 1800 RESPECT or Lifeline if you need to talk. 

And if you’re not ready to bring up the family violence, that’s okay. Don’t underestimate the power of showing your loved one that you see them, they matter, and you care.  

 

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, always call triple zero (000). 

If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, there are services that can provide support and advice. 

For support across Australia, contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) or visit 1800respect.org.au.  

For more information on support services in your state, visit Are You Safe At Home?.  

To learn more about the warning signs of domestic violence, and what you can be looking out for, listen to season two of Future Women’s podcast, There’s No Place Like Home. 

To learn more about how you can implement a tailored and accessible domestic and family violence leave policy in your workplace, check out Safe and Equal’s workplace family violence services. 

*Personal Safety Survey 2021-22, Australian Bureau of Statistics

^Destroy the Joint, 2023. NB: There is limited data available on family violence deaths, so this figure is likely higher. This figure also does not include children, several of whom we know have been killed due to men’s violence this year. 

Ahead of the Voice to Parliament referendum this year, Safe and Equal stands in solidarity with First Nations peoples and supports the call for an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Voice to Parliament.  

We acknowledge and respect the diversity of viewpoints held by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people around the referendum and recognise the Uluru Statement of the Heart as one way forward, with voice one element of this. We support an Aboriginal Voice to Parliament alongside other meaningful action, including treaty negotiations, truth-telling processes, implementing the recommendations from the Royal Commission into Aboriginal Deaths in Custody, and funding Aboriginal Community Controlled Organisations adequately to meet the service and support needs of their communities. 

Safe and Equal respects First Nations people’s rights to self-determination and cultural safety. Now and always, we stand strongly opposed to racism, denial of history and wilful blindness to ongoing inequality and injustice. No matter the outcome of this referendum, we will continue to listen to, stand with and support Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people in their efforts towards justice, equality and control of their own lives and futures. 

Read our full statement on an Indigenous Voice to Parliament here. 

 

Want to learn more?  

Read more about the Voice to Parliament at Reconciliation Australia.  

IndigenousX regularly publishes features and opinion pieces on the Voice to Parliament, from First Nations writers like Celeste Liddle and Vanessa Turnbull-Roberts. You can find all articles here. 

Read statements on the Voice to Parliament from the Victorian Aboriginal Child Care Agency, the Victorian Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Organisation, and Mallee District Aboriginal Services. 

Check out news coverage and explainers on the Voice to Parliament referendum from SBS News, The Guardian, The Conversation and ABC News. 

The Guardian Australia has launched a special podcast series on the referendum as part of their Full Story podcast feed, titled The Voice Ask Me Anything. Episodes are released fortnightly – you can find them all here. 

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women deserve to be safe in their relationships and communities. 

Ochre Ribbon Week raises awareness about the devastating impacts of family violence on Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities. 

Statistics indicate that Indigenous women experience disproportionate levels of violence – both structural and interpersonal – and face significant barriers to seeking support. 

According to the Australian Human Rights Commission’s Wiyi Yani U Thangani (Women’s Voices) Report, three in every five Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women have experienced physical or sexual violence. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women are also 32 times more likely to be hospitalised due to family violence, and 11 times more likely to die due to assault, compared to non-Indigenous women.  

These statistics are shocking, and highlight how colonisation, systemic discrimination, structural inequality and racism intersect with gender inequality to increase and intensify First Nations women’s experiences of violence. 

At Safe and Equal, we recognise the critical work of Aboriginal community-controlled organisations in the specialist family violence sector and beyond, and we’re working to amplify First Nations women’s calls for action to end the violence against Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, especially women and children.  

As 2023’s Ochre Ribbon Week comes to a close, we want to highlight the messages and advocacy from Djirra’s social media campaign, which includes information and education on Ochre Ribbon Week, National Apology Day, and what family violence can look like: 

You can show your support by following and listening to Djirra and other Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and organisations on social media, including: 

• National Family Violence Prevention Legal Services Forum 
• Elizabeth Morgan House 
• Marninwarntikura Women’s Resource Centre 
• Central Australian Aboriginal Family Legal Unit 
• Family Violence Legal Service Aboriginal Corporation 
• National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Legal Services 
• Koorie Youth Council (KYC) 
• #Closethegap Campaign 
• The Uluru Statement – the ‘Uluru Dialogue’ collective leading the official Uluru Statement and Voice to Parliament education campaign 
• Victorian Aboriginal Legal Service 
• Change the Record, Australia’s national Aboriginal-led justice coalition of Aboriginal peak bodies and non-Indigenous allies 

You may have seen it on the news or heard about it at work: the Australian Government has introduced 10 days paid domestic and family violence leave into the National Employment Standards. 

In short, paid domestic and family violence leave provides employees with paid time away from work so they can deal with the impacts of family violence. 

The leave is legislated and mandatory – meaning all employers have to offer it to their staff by the allocated deadline. For businesses with over 15 employees, this legislation came into effect on 1 February. For small businesses, the deadline to implement domestic and family violence leave is 1 August. 

The leave is referred to as ‘universal’ – meaning it is available to all employees, including casuals. It will also be available upfront – instead of accruing leave over time, an employee can access all 10 days of leave as soon as they need it, with the leave ‘resetting’ each year on an employee’s start date anniversary. 

The introduction of these leave entitlements shows how much Australians recognise the impact family violence has on the community, and the key role workplaces have in being part of the solution. 

We know that family violence is a prevalent and complex social issue, one that has devastating and long-lasting impacts on all parts of people’s lives. 

It also has a significant impact on the economy, costing Australia an estimated $1.9 billion per year. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, between 55% and 70% of women who have experienced or are currently experiencing violence participate in the workforce. That’s around one in six female workers. It’s safe to say most – if not all – workplaces will employee someone who is impacted by family violence. 

Given these figures and how much time we spend at work (most women employed in Australia work over 20 hours per week), there’s clearly a crucial role for employers in preventing and responding to family violence. 

The introduction of paid domestic and family violence leave can make a world of difference to someone experiencing abuse. It means they will be able to keep their jobs while taking the steps they need to keep themselves safe.  

To be able to take paid time off to attend an appointment with a specialist family violence service, go to court to obtain an Intervention Order, or arrange a lease and move house, means a victim survivor has a real chance at safely escaping abuse and can begin their journey to recovery.  

The introduction of this leave is an important and long overdue change – but there is a lot that workplaces will need to consider beyond just making it available to staff. 

In Monash University’s 2021 report Safe, Thriving and Secure: Family Violence Leave and Workplace Supports in Australia, access to paid domestic and family violence leave is highlighted as an important part of a broader framework of workplace responses to family violence. The report describes the significant work required across Australian workplaces to embed a culture and policy environment that is safe and respectful and supports victim survivors to thrive in their jobs. 

Employers will need to consider how leave can be requested and accessed discreetly; for example, under the legislation this form of leave cannot be displayed on a payslip. Both employers and colleagues need to be prepared to respond safely and effectively when someone in the workplace shares that they are experiencing violence. This includes knowing what specialist support is available and approaching the conversation with sensitivity, while maintaining privacy and confidentiality.   

More broadly, it’s critical employers cultivate a compassionate, trauma-informed and supportive culture within the workplace to ensure victim survivors feel safe and able to disclose abuse. This involves ongoing training for all levels of staff that supports an increased understanding of family violence, how to be an active bystander, and staff rights and responsibilities in relation to an accessible domestic and family violence leave policy. 

These skills are complex and nuanced and require time and consideration to embed properly. If you’re thinking about how to implement domestic and family violence leave in your workplace, there are lots of supports available. 

Workplaces have a real opportunity to support the big-picture change that’s needed to eliminate family and gender-based violence. Employers who develop a trauma-informed understanding of family violence, and prioritise a workplace culture of support, safety and respect will not only increase staff retention, performance and engagement, but will give victim survivors the best chance of recovering and thriving.  

For more information on how you can implement a tailored and accessible domestic and family violence leave policy in your business, check out Safe and Equal’s workplace family violence services. 

In the report Domestic Violence: Experiences of Partner Emotional Abuse, the ABS provides an analysis of data from the 2016 Personal Safety Survey (PSS), identifying key characteristics that are associated with an increased likelihood of experiencing emotional abuse from a partner. 

Let’s break this down.  

What does the ABS mean when they refer to ‘emotional abuse?’ 

According to the report, the ABS defines ‘emotional abuse’ in the PSS as specific behaviours or actions that: 

“…are aimed at preventing or controlling [a person’s] behaviour, causing them emotional harm or fear. These behaviours are characterised in nature by their intent to manipulate, control, isolate or intimidate the person they are aimed at. They are generally repeated behaviours and include psychological, social, financial (also known as economic abuse), and verbal abuse.”

Examples of emotional abuse as defined by the ABS include: 

• Trying to stop a person from contacting their friends, family, or community 
• Constantly putting someone down 
• Limiting a person’s access to household money 
• Threatening to remove access to a person’s child/children. 

With this definition in mind, the data collected in the PSS found that an estimated one in four women (or 2.2 million) have experienced emotional abuse since the age of 15, from either a current or former partner. 

Does this differ to coercive control? 

The term ‘emotional abuse’ is often used interchangeably with coercive control, but they are not the same. Coercive control is not a separate form of family violence – rather, it is a part of all family violence, including emotional abuse. 

Think of it this way: coercive control is a pattern of abusive behaviours and tactics used by a perpetrator to gain power and control over a victim survivor. It is not a ‘standalone’ type of family violence. All forms of family violence can be used by a perpetrator to gain and maintain power and control. 

It’s also important to remember that when we talk about family violence, we are talking about patterns of abusive behaviours that are used to control someone in a family, family-like or intimate relationship, and to make that person feel afraid for their safety and wellbeing. It can take many forms – not just physical or sexual abuse. Similarly, all forms of family violence can be separate, or can occur together. 

The behaviours defined by the ABS as emotional abuse include a range of tactics associated with other forms of family violence, such as financial abuse. 

With that in mind, what does the ABS data say? 

Women with disability, single parents and people experiencing financial stress were more likely to experience abuse 

The report highlighted several characteristics that were linked with higher rates of emotional abuse. 

For instance, women aged between 30 and 54 experienced the highest rates of emotional abuse, while women aged over 65 were less likely to experience abuse. 

6.3% of women with disability or a long-term health condition had experienced partner emotional abuse, compared to 4.1% of women without disability or a long-term health condition.  

Women who were single parents of children under 15 years old were more than twice as likely to experience partner emotional abuse, compared with women from all other household types. 

Both men and women living in households who had experienced cash flow problems within the last 12 months were more than twice as likely to experience partner emotional abuse as those who did not experience cash flow issues. Similarly, women living in households that were unable to raise $2000 in a week for something important were almost twice as likely to experience partner emotional abuse. 

The most common emotional abuse experienced was threatening and degrading behaviours 

76% of women who had experienced emotional abuse by a current partner had experienced that abuse in the form of threatening or degrading behaviours. 41% had experienced abuse in the form of controlling financial behaviours. 

Significantly, of the 1.7 million women who experienced emotional abuse by a previous partner, 88% experience threatening or degrading behaviours, and 63% experienced controlling social behaviours. 

The data from this report further highlights that regardless of what forms it takes, family violence is always underpinned by power and control. Coercive and controlling behaviours are found across all types of family violence, not just emotional abuse. 

Find out more about different forms of family violence here. 

For more information on family violence, including how you can seek support for yourself or a loved one, visit Are You Safe at Home? 

A note on language: Safe and Equal recognises that family violence impacts people across a diversity of gender identities, social and cultural contexts, and within various intimate, family and family-like relationships. Consequently, we predominately use the gender-inclusive terms ‘victim survivor’ and ‘perpetrator’ to acknowledge the complex ways family violence manifests across the community. Importantly, the term ‘victim survivor’ refers to both adults and children who experience family violence, recognising that children and young people who experience family violence are victim survivors in their own right. However, where references are being made specifically to the experiences of women, we use gendered language to accurately reflect this. As this article refers to people who are pregnant — who are predominantly women, I have chosen to use gendered language in this article.

As the peak body for family violence services in Victoria, Safe and Equal is very pleased to sponsor this edition of Parity and draw attention to the interconnections between pregnancy, homelessness and family violence.

We know that pregnancy and immediately post-birth are times of increased risk of family violence. In the case of intimate partner violence, as relationship dynamics begin to change with the impending birth of a baby, family violence may start for the first time or it may escalate if already present, putting both mother and baby at risk. For young people who are pregnant, family violence risk may be present in the form of intimate partner violence and/or from their family of origin who may not be supportive of the pregnancy, further complicating the level of risk experienced and the types of supports needed to support young mothers and their children.

It is common for women and young people to find a new impetus to leave family violence when they become mothers, or when it becomes clear that their children are also being affected by the violence. Violence against themselves may be tolerated, but violence against their children is not. Thus, pregnancy creates both an opportunity and risk — an opportunity to engage with victim survivors of family violence to talk about safety, and a risk as pregnancy is already a time of increased risk that increases again at times of separation or when planning to leave.

We know that family violence is the leading cause of homelessness among women and children. Many mothers are faced with the dreadful choice of remaining in a violent relationship or taking their children and leaving only to be faced with the very real prospect of becoming homeless. Family violence is also the leading cause of youth homelessness, as many young people who experience family violence leave home to escape. For young women experiencing homelessness, the risk of family violence, sexual assault and pregnancy increases.

‘No woman should be forced to make the choice between putting herself and her children at risk of homelessness or continuing to experience family violence’.

This nexus of pregnancy, family violence and homelessness is why this edition of Parity is so important. Research on the experiences of women who are pregnant and homeless has demonstrated that a vast majority of these women have experienced family violence. In the mix of pregnancy, medical needs, homelessness, possible drug or alcohol addiction and/or mental illness, where is the perpetrator?

When working with women who are pregnant and homeless, these critical questions must be asked. Is this woman a victim survivor of family violence? Is attempting to leave family violence the reason they are homeless? Are we recognizing and supporting both the woman and her children’s acts of resistance and efforts to stay safe in the face of violence? Where is the perpetrator? Is the system keeping them in view? Do services know where they are, what they are doing, and how their actions may have impacted and still be impacting the mother and child?

Are we viewing mental illness or substance abuse through a trauma‑informed lens, which may reveal that these issues are a response to family violence‑related trauma? Are we recognising that, for some of these women and children, family violence may still be occurring? That this trauma is not an event they have left behind, even if they are being linked in with other services?

If the abuse, violence, coercive control and resulting fear are ongoing, recovery from family violence is not possible. Are we able to acknowledge what a mammoth task it may be for the mother to effect certain changes in her life at this time? Are we able to adjust service expectations accordingly, with a view to keeping both mother and child safe and — ideally — together?

In such scenarios, it is critical that we shift our focus to the perpetrator of family violence and assess to what extent their actions are the root cause of many other issues someone who is pregnant and homeless may be experiencing. If the family violence risk from the perpetrator was removed, how might the health, wellbeing and safety of each woman and her baby be improved?

Fortunately, Victoria is starting to make this shift. The introduction of the family violence Multi Agency Risk Assessment and Management (MARAM) framework is supporting non-specialist family violence services who work with victim survivors of family violence to better assess the safety needs of both adult, child and adolescent victim survivors. The Family Violence Information Sharing Scheme (FVISS), Child Information Sharing Scheme (CISS) and rollout of the Central Information Point (CIP) all are enhancing services’ abilities to share risk-relevant information about perpetrators and victim survivors to better inform risk assessments, safety planning and holistic service delivery.

These reforms are still in the early days of implementation, and their full effect on outcomes for victim survivors, including women who are pregnant and homeless who have experienced family violence, is still yet to be felt. But they are also not enough on their own. Even when fully implemented, much will rely on the expertise and experience of individual practitioners to be able to utilise these tools effectively. It is, therefore, necessary that sectors are resourced to support their staff to use these tools and work collaboratively with other sectors to answer these critical questions through multiple practice lenses to get the best picture of what a client needs.

We also need housing.

Homelessness cannot be solved without housing. No woman should be forced to make the choice between putting herself and her children at risk of homelessness or continuing to experience family violence. We cannot reasonably expect anyone to address mental illness or substance abuse issues when they are homeless, managing a pregnancy and faced with the prospect of bringing a baby into the world without a safe place to live. We also need more crisis accommodation for young people who are independently fleeing family violence, either from an intimate partner or family of origin, to stop the intergenerational impact of family violence.

The Victorian Royal Commission into Family Violence very clearly found that children experience the effects of family violence prior to birth. Yet the service infrastructure and amount of safe, affordable, long‑term housing to support women who are pregnant and experiencing family violence and homelessness remains insufficient to address their needs. We are immensely pleased that attention is being drawn to this group of women and children and look forward to the ensuing conversation about what is needed and how to best support them.

Fast Track is a 10-week online program that supports professionals in the prevention and response sectors advance their careers by building skills in leadership, advocacy, partnerships, and program design.  

A cohort of 24 practitioners completed the course from a range of organisations and regions across Victoria. The final workshop focussed on advocating for change, with Emily Maguire (CEO, Respect Victoria) and Diana Sayed (CEO, Australian Muslim Women’s Centre for Human Rights) joining us for a panel discussion. The level of engagement throughout the program was high, with participants feeling a real sense of camaraderie and reinvigoration to continue their work in prevention.  

‘I have enjoyed this course immensely! I have not only learned a lot but have practical knowledge and skills to apply to my practice in Family Violence Prevention work and have made some great long-time relationships/networks with amazing people from the course. Thank you so much for the opportunity!’

-Fast Track prevention program participant

The end-of-program forum was a success, attended by Fast Track participants and managers, mentors, and staff from DFFH and Safe and Equal. The forum was an opportunity to connect and celebrate participants’ hard work, with presentations showcasing enhanced knowledge and skills that they can apply in their workplaces. The session begun with a discussion between Tania Farha and participants around leadership, what participants valued from the program, and future hopes for leadership within the sector. The scaffolded learning outcomes covered in each weekly module alongside support from their mentors enabled participants to identify and design a workplace project to implement back in their organisation. Some workplace project logics presented at the forum included: 

• Building a rural gender equity workforce; train the trainer model
• Supporting multicultural and faith communities to prevent family violence, and
• Embedding gender equality into teaching practice for the community education sector.

The Fast Track program is now entering an evaluation phase; we have partnered with Lirata and look forward to conducting a thorough evaluation of the program and sharing the analysis and findings later in the year. Discussions are currently in progress regarding the future funding of Fast Track, to join the waitlist for upcoming prevention leadership development opportunities, please click here.  

What began as a Brisbane-based awareness day in 2020 is now a national initiative – one that centres the voices of LGBTIQA+ communities and aims to educate allies, organisations and the general public about the systemic discrimination, erasure and additional barriers LGBTIQA+ people face when trying to seek domestic violence support. 

For Elvis Martin, a youth advocate and member of Safe and Equal’s Expert Advisory Panel, LGBTQ Domestic Violence Awareness Day is a reminder of the work that is still needed to ensure all LGBTIQA+ people can access safe and inclusive support. 

“Because so many people view family violence as something experienced by cisgender heterosexual women, perpetrated by cisgender heterosexual men, it can be really hard for anyone outside of that binary to be seen and acknowledged as a person experiencing violence,” he said.

“This makes it very difficult to access support – if we don’t realise that what we are experiencing is family violence, and the system isn’t recognising it, we fall through the cracks.” 

Research indicates that people who identify as LGBTIQA+ experience family violence and intimate partner violence at similar rates to those who identify as heterosexual. Private Lives is Australia’s largest national survey of the health and wellbeing of LGBTIQA+ people, conducted by the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society (ARCSHS) at La Trobe University. The third edition of the survey, released in 2020, found that more than two out of five survey respondents reported experiencing intimate partner violence, and two out of five survey respondents reported experiencing family violence, predominantly from parents and older siblings.  

The survey also highlights the unique circumstances in which LGBTIQA+ people may be subjected to violence, including rejection or abuse after ‘coming out’ to family members. As a young person, Elvis’ experience of family violence directly intersected with experiences of homophobia and discrimination. 

“For a long time, I did not know that what I was experiencing was family violence,” he said.  

“I didn’t know what to think – I would just tell myself that I was experiencing ‘conflict’ with my family. I did not see it as family violence until someone else named it.” 

After recognising that what he was experiencing was family violence, Elvis realised there were further systemic barriers for LGBTIQA+ people seeking support that other communities may not face.  

“For starters, there are not many LGBTIQA+ specialist family violence services, and many people don’t know who or where they are,” he said. 

“Adding to that are the ongoing experiences of systemic discrimination and prejudice LGBTIQA+ communities are subjected to. This can increase our distrust of services, so even if we know a mainstream service is there, we might be hesitant to reach out.” 

Challenging systemic discrimination and prejudice is key to the theme of this year’s LGBTQ Domestic Violence Awareness Day – #SeenandBelieved. For Elvis, having people name the violence and ask about his safety was life-changing.  

“Just having someone say that to me made me feel seen and believed. It gave me the confidence to seek professional support, which was something I was unable to do previously,” says Elvis. 

“But we can’t just rely on professionals – because there are less LGBTQIA+ family violence services, the community has a really important role in supporting each other,” he adds. 

“Just being there for someone who is experiencing family violence is so important. You don’t have to tell them what to do, just be there for them, don’t judge them, and let them tell you what they need.”

After overcoming some very difficult circumstances, Elvis now uses his lived experience to educate others in the community and amplify the voices of the LGBTIQA+ community. It is his hope that with initiatives like LGBTQ Domestic Violence Awareness Day, more people will feel supported to disclose abuse and reach out for help, and services will become safer and more inclusive for LGBTIQA+ people. 

“There is so much power in having these conversations. The more awareness we raise, the more our experiences are validated, the more we feel seen and respected, and the more government and policy makers must listen and change.” 

For more information on LGBTQ Domestic Violence Awareness Day, visit https://www.dvafoundation.org/. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, you can contact Rainbow Door on 1800 729 367 (10am – 5pm, every day) or QLife on 1800 184 527 (3pm-midnight, every day) for LGBTIQA+ peer support, information and referral, or 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 (24 hours, 7 days).

IDAHOBIT reminds us we must stand with and celebrate LGBTIQA+ people and communities across the globe, raise awareness and acknowledge there is still significant work required to eliminate LGBTQIA+ discrimination. People who identify as LGBTIQA+ experience family violence and intimate partner violence at similar rates to those who identify as heterosexual. However, LGBTIQA+ people face systemic discrimination, erasure, and additional barriers to accessing tailored family violence support. 

Safe and Equal stands against homophobia, biphobia, intersexism and transphobia. We recognise the ongoing violence and discrimination that LGBTIQA+ people face on a daily basis, particularly in the context of family violence, and continue to advocate for change. We celebrate the wisdom, strength and humour of LGBTIQA+ communities, and strive to make our organisation an inclusive space where everyone is welcomed and valued. 

There is a lot of work occurring across the organisation to promote and support LGBTIQA+ community partnerships and collaboration. Recently, we partnered with Switchboard to develop a tip sheet to help practitioners responding to family violence provide LGBTIQA+ inclusive support.  

Last week, we joined with gender equity and women’s safety organisations across the nation to speak out in support of inclusion, dignity and respect for trans women. This Fair Agenda initiative is in response to the disturbing attempts by some political candidates to foster division by attacking the rights of trans women to participate in community and professional sports. We are deeply concerned about this divisive, hate-filled debate and its potential to fuel increasing violence against trans women and girls. You can read the joint statement and add your support here.  

We are also proud to be working towards achieving our Rainbow Tick accreditation, which ensures Safe and Equal is a safe, inclusive and affirming organisation and employer for LGBTIQA+ communities.  

Finally, we are excited to be co-hosting an upcoming webinar with Switchboard and the Zoe Belle Gender Collective, to commemorate LGBTIQA+ DV Awareness Day on Thursday 26 May. The webinar is an opportunity to learn how we can better respond and support trans women of colour who are experiencing family and intimate partner violence.  

These are all important steps, but there is much more work to be done to ensure our sector can provide safe and inclusive support to all LGBTIQA+ people. 

If you’re interested in finding out more about how you can support and advocate for the LGBTIQA+ community, for IDAHOBIT and beyond, take a look and share content from Minus18 and Switchboard, two organisations doing critical work towards supporting and creating space for LGBTIQA+ people. There’s also a page on the Safe and Equal website that provides more information on how services can support LGBTIQA+ people experiencing family and domestic violence, including a list of specialist services and programs. 

When the first round of Melbourne lockdowns occurred in March 2020, people experiencing abuse found themselves stuck at home with their perpetrators 24/7 – without the respite that work, socialising and daily life had otherwise provided. Calls to helplines dried up as women were unable to reach out for support without alerting their perpetrator.  

During this time, family violence services started reporting an increase in ‘third parties’ – friends, family members and neighbours – contacting them with concerns about someone in their life.   

It was from these circumstances that Safe and Equal developed Are You Safe at Home? – a campaign to reduce the stigma and fear associated with asking the question, and to support communities to feel more comfortable identifying and responding to family violence. 

Expanding to a national campaign in 2022, the new Are You Safe at Home? website provides people experiencing abuse with information about what family violence is, ways to stay safe, and where to find support. Asking the question can be tough, so the website also includes information for friends, family and community members on how to respond appropriately if you suspect someone you know is experiencing family violence, centered around asking, ‘are you safe at home?’.  

– Tania Farha, Safe and Equal CEO

This morning’s live-streamed event to launch the very first Are You Safe at Home? Day provided an opportunity to centre the voices of lived experience and learn about the significant role individuals can play in the fight to end family violence.  

Minister for the Prevention of Family Violence, Gabrielle Williams, gave a powerful opening address that articulated the significance of community engagement and support in preventing and responding to family violence. 

‘Where people are, is where this conversation needs to be. It’s as simple as that,’ she said. 

Minister Williams went on to acknowledge the importance of awareness-raising campaigns in further educating the public, saying ‘the community at large has more of an understanding of what family violence is, due in large part to campaigns like this.’ 

Following Minister Williams’ address, MC and AFLW Richmond player Akec Majur Chuot facilitated a discussion with Elvis and Mishka* two survivor advocates who both have had experiences with being asked ‘are you safe at home?’. 

For Elvis, who experienced family violence related to his identity as a young LGBTQIA+ person, being able to name what he was experiencing as family violence was complex and difficult. 

‘For a long time, I thought family violence was only experienced by women in intimate partner relationships,’ he said.

Mishka* shared her similar experience with being unable to recognise that she was experiencing family violence, but had supportive work colleagues who were able to name the violence and provide pathways to safety. 

‘Quite often the last person to realise they are a family violence victim is the victim themselves….my colleagues knew I was a family violence victim before I did,’ she said. 

Both Elvis and Mishka* highlighted the importance of bystander intervention – particularly of being non-judgemental and asking the individual experiencing violence what they need for support. 

‘If you see a red flag, it doesn’t do any harm to call it out and ask the question…you’ve planted a seed,’ said Mishka*. 

‘Just be a good listener. Be there for someone, listen to what they are going through,’ added Elvis. 

Both advocates advised that having regular check-ins, offering practical support and remaining patient and understanding can really make all the difference. 

‘What my colleagues did was slowly build me up, and show me I was valued and cared about, and that the violence was not my fault,’ said Mishka*. 

Safe and Equal would like to thank Elvis, Mishka*, Akec and Minister Williams for providing their advocacy and support in the launch of Are You Safe at Home? Day. 

Click here to view the livestream of the Are You Safe At Home? Day event.

For more information and resources, please visit www.areyousafeathome.org.au. 

 

*names have been changed. 

Safe and Equal CEO Tania Farha welcomed the appointment. 

“Maria is a lauded human rights advocate and champion of diversity and gender equality. Her extensive experience and expertise, particularly around the rights and meaningful inclusion of women from migrant and refugee backgrounds in policy and system reform aligns strongly with our strategic goals and purpose,” said Tania. 

Maria has made significant contributions to policy development, research and community education, including as a member of the federal Access and Equity Inquiry Panel and as the inaugural Chairperson of the Harmony Alliance – Australia’s national coalition of migrant and refugee women. Maria has also contributed to state and federal family and gender-based violence prevention and response strategies, including as part of the National Council to Reduce Violence Against Women and their Children which oversaw the development of the First National Plan to End Violence against Women and their Children. She has undertaken extensive research with diverse communities and organisations and has been published in the Feminist Law Journal, Family and Domestic Violence Clearinghouse, and the Australian Institute of Criminology. She is also the co-author of the book Blood on Whose Hands? The Killing of Women and Children in Domestic Homicides, published by the Women’s Coalition Against Family Violence. 

“I look forward to supporting the great work of Safe and Equal, in particular the partnerships with First Nations communities and organisations,” said Maria. 

“I am committed to governing Safe and Equal with an intersectional feminist lens as a way to expose uneven power relations and structural oppressions, in order to support gender equality and social justice.”  

A recipient of Member (AM) of the Order of Australia and an inductee to the Victorian Honour Roll of Women, Maria was formerly Special Advisor, Multicultural Communities, for the Department of Justice and Community Safety. She is also a Board member of the Coronial Council of Victoria, Reconciliation Victoria, the Spectrum Migrant Resource Centre, and the National Judicial Council on Cultural Diversity.  

Maria takes on Chair responsibilities from Stacey Ong, who has led Safe and Equal’s Board as Interim Chair since September 2021. 

“I am proud to have worked as part of the Transition Board and with the staff of Safe and Equal as Interim Chair for the last five months. I look forward to seeing Safe and Equal and the sector move into the next period and welcome Maria’s expertise and leadership,” said Stacey.  

“The staff and Board would like to thank Stacey for her governance and leadership, particularly through the final stages of the merger and launch of Safe and Equal,” said Tania.  

“We are excited to continue our work across the continuum of prevention to recovery, to achieve our vision of a world beyond family and gender-based violence where women, children and people from marginalised communities are safe, thriving and respected.”  

Recognise 

The Experts by Experience Framework is based on the belief that responses to family violence will be most effective and safe if they are informed and developed in partnership with victim survivors. 

The recognition that victim survivors hold valuable knowledge and expertise about family violence and the service system is reflected in key Safe and Equal documents, including our Strategic Plan and the Code of Practice. 

To support staff to understand and recognise the value of lived experience and how it connects to their work, we undertook surveys and workshops in an effort to determine organisational readiness for engagement with lived experience and survivor advocacy. These spaces provided staff with the opportunity to share and discuss their fears and excitement for this work, and highlighted gaps where more work was required to build capacity and inform our pathway forward. They also provided us with more understanding of the different sources of lived experience in the sector – including the lived experience of clients, survivor advocates and the workforce. 

These tools will form part of an ongoing process, particularly as new staff commence within the organisation.  

Safety 

“I was happy you considered me although I was still experiencing family violence, because you can still be in the middle of the situation and do advocacy. My most powerful advocacy has been when my case has been active. It is disempowering when someone decides I can’t advocate. We can assess our own safety.” 

Expert Advisory Panel member

 

Following the recruitment process was complete and members of the Panel were confirmed, we worked with each individual to identify and understand any legal, physical, emotional or cultural safety considerations. Where risks to safety were identified, we explored what support or protections were needed to enable safe participation. These include: 

• Using a pseudonym for external communications and/or events 
• Not sharing email addresses publicly 
• Reviewing any quotes or stories before publication, to ensure they are captured in a way that protects anonymity 
• Taking breaks during meetings as required, and encouraging panel members to switch their cameras off if needed 
• Turning comments off on social media 

As safety considerations can change over time, it is important to revisit these risks frequently. 

Value 

The Experts by Experience Framework outlines the importance of not only recognition for survivor advocate expertise, but also financial remuneration for their time and contributions. 

While there are many ways to ensure survivor advocates are remunerated for their work, we elected for members of the Expert Advisory Panel to be engaged as employees of Safe and Equal. This is due to the nature of the role, to ensure panel members accrue superannuation, and our desire to engage panel members as staff of the peak. 

Transparency 

Establishing transparent processes in the way we engage with survivor advocates has been a major element of this work. Having a purpose and providing clear information supports survivor advocates to make informed decisions about what they participate in, including the nature of the engagement, degree of influence, time commitment and any limitations.  

To foster transparency and clear communication, we initially chose to provide written project briefs to survivor advocates, as well as verbal briefs in meetings or on phone calls. Feedback from panel members indicated that we have an over-reliance on written communications, and that this is not always accessible. To mitigate this, we have been exploring the use of short, pre-recorded video briefs. 

“When I’m in a trauma space I’m not reading; it’s 5 bullet points at most because of limited brain storage. So, it’s a balance – enough information, but (you) don’t want to overwhelm people.” 

Expert Advisory Panel Member

 

Panel members also have the opportunity to review work they have provided input to, to ensure all points have been accurately represented. Where possible, we also provide feedback on how their contributions have influenced change, big or small. 

Accountability 

Building in processes for accountability in all aspects of this work builds trust, as well as opportunities for innovation and continuous improvement. Through surveys, group reflections and workshops, there are regular opportunities and avenues for survivor advocates to let us know what is working well, and more importantly what is not working or could be improved.  

In 2021, we undertook a ‘health check’ panel, where we heard what was working well and identified opportunities for improvement, including: 

• Sending reminders the day before meetings 
• Recapping old and new business at the start of each meeting  
• Setting up a WhatsApp group for communications between meetings
• Using different forms of communication, not just written, e.g., video, images 

Support 

“From the get-go I felt like I could be honest and open and felt safe to do so. I think that is because of a human approach, caring and holding space…I didn’t go into the space thinking I had to perform – I could be a human and that’s a huge relief.”  

Expert Advisory Panel member

 

Throughout the establishment of the Expert Advisory Panel, it has been incredibly important to ensure the space is safe and supportive. This has included incorporating formal and informal trauma-informed support, such as: 

• Access to a family violence-informed Employment Assistance Provider 
• Warm referrals to specialist services as required
• Generating a set of shared values for the panel
• Using a check in and check out discussion tool
• Allowing survivor advocates to engage in ways that work for them on the day 

The wellbeing of panel members is a top priority. We have learned that making these supports readily available has enabled survivor advocates to more comfortably participate in the panel and feel safe to ‘step back’ or implement boundaries when needed. 

“Advocates can be ‘messy’. We are trying to manage our triggers but also being passionate about the work. Push into that too, ‘how do we help you on your messy days? and how do we support you on those days?” 

Expert Advisory Panel member

 

Trust 

Identifying and addressing power imbalances and taking the time to understand each person’s motivations and values has been integral to building trusting relationships and has allowed the Expert Advisory Panel to work collaboratively and honestly with each other and with Safe and Equal. This is always a work in progress, but some strategies we have implemented to address power imbalances include: 

• Having check-ins that all staff, survivor advocates or people in other roles participate equally in
• Ensuring the Safe and Equal team show up authentically, model vulnerability and are honest about what they are bringing into a space
• Being mindful of who else is in the space and not out-numbering survivor advocates, as this changes the power dynamic
• Ensuring people who are in the meeting have a clear role and purpose, and that this is communicated clearly
• Following through on implementation changes that the panel suggests
• Being mindful of which voices are being heard, and which voices are not – making a concerted effort to create space for the quieter voices to be heard 

“I didn’t feel a power imbalance. I didn’t feel like I had to front up with presentation or personality that would fit. Sometimes as a victim survivor I get torn or feel I have to mask authenticity to fit in with workplace expectations. I didn’t have to battle a notion to prove you are experienced enough to do the work.”  

Expert Advisory Panel member

 

Reciprocity 

Partnering with and learning from the members of the Expert Advisory Panel relies on establishing trusting and authentic relationships and being open to continuous learning and improvement. We have learned it is important to approach this work from a place of mutual learning, with curiosity and without all the answers. For us, this has meant proactively seeking feedback and being open to welcoming critique, implementing suggested changes in a timely manner, and asking questions to understand.  

This process has also highlighted the importance of approaching work with the panel in a way that welcomes ‘blue sky thinking’ – panel members bring a lot of advocacy experience, but also skills and expertise in a number of different areas that add significant value to their contributions.  

Inclusion 

“For [Safe and Equal] to welcome people with a criminal record, was a huge benefit and relief. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have applied.” 

Expert Advisory Panel member

 

To support inclusion of diverse voices and perspectives, we wanted to be clear and deliberate about seeking engagement from victim survivors whose voices may not usually be heard. This involved reflecting on and acknowledging the ways that gender inequality intersects with other forms of inequality and oppression, such as colonialism, ableism, white supremacy, racism, homophobia, transphobia and classism.  

In seeking engagement and insight from a broad range of perspectives, it was critical to remove existing barriers for victim survivors who experience marginalisation and systemic oppression. One example of this was around police checks. As an organisation, we were transparent of the need for selected panel members to complete a police check, however explicitly stated that a police check result would not necessarily prevent someone being successful in the role. 

“What surprised me about the process is getting appointed to the committee. It is really important to have different perspectives and acknowledge experience of LGBTIQA+ victim –survivors.”  

Expert Advisory Panel member

 

As diverse as the panel of survivor advocates are, they do not represent the views and experiences of all victim survivors. The work to remain aware of missing voices is ongoing, as are efforts to elevate and create space for others, including working collaboratively with other survivor advocacy groups such as inTouch’s Noor and Women with Disabilities Victoria’s Experts by Experience working group. 

Sustainability 

Like many in the specialist family violence sector trying to meaningfully embed the voices of lived experience, resourcing and sustainability remain prevailing issues. While we continue to put in place creative methods to fund this work including private sector grants, philanthropy and utilising fee for service models, of key significance is the cultural shift and genuine commitment to ensuring victim survivor expertise is at the centre of everything we do, from the Experts by Experience Implementation Plan, to budget submissions and government advocacy. 

Taking careful steps to meaningfully engage with lived experience voices has had considerable impact. Survivor advocates were pivotal in informing and leading key pieces of work within the organisation, including the Safe and Equal name and branding, shaping our submission to the Successor National Plan to End Violence Against Women and Children, and co-designing and delivering a Children and Young People Forum, among many others.  

For us, the implementation process has provided ample learnings. We have learned that seemingly small projects or pieces of work can have a large influence and impact, and fostering genuine and authentic relationships is vital and enables us to know when things are challenging or not working well. We have also learned that to ensure maximum influence, we must ensure survivor advocates have the opportunity to work on a project from the beginning. 

Through these learnings, we have also discovered gaps and complexities that require more attention, including the irregular nature of hours and work for survivor advocates, and the need to create further opportunities for emerging advocates to gain experience and build capability. Importantly, more funding is needed for the sector to implement this work. 

Having the opportunity to work alongside survivor advocates is a privilege, and the individuals in these roles are incredibly generous with their experience and expertise. We look forward to continuing to partner with the Expert Advisory Panel to support work across all areas of Safe and Equal in 2022. 

The session provided an opportunity for leaders in the sector to hear directly from young people impacted by family violence, and to further explore what it really means for our sector to recognise and support children and young people as victim survivors in their own right.  

Youth advocate panel discussion: working with young people in their own right 

Setting the scene for the morning was the youth advocate panel discussion moderated by Tash, a survivor advocate and member of Safe and Equal’s Expert Advisory Panel. The five youth advocate panelists, Apryl*, Elvis, Liam*, Millie* and Kaitlyne, provided unique insight into how systemic responses can evolve to be more inclusive and responsive to children and young people, based on their experience and expertise.  

When discussing what it would look like for a service to work with a young person in their own right, panelists described the feeling of being ‘invisible’ in services and being seen as an extension of a parent rather than as an individual person. There are different, individual support needs required for children and young people, and services need to directly engage with them to ensure their needs are prioritised and seen as separate to the needs of adults, as well as other children and young people. Family violence can impact each child or young person differently – even those within the same family. 

The panel discussed gaps in the current service system, particularly around the lack of dedicated funding or support available for victim survivors turning 18, for young people from diverse cultural backgrounds, and for young LGBTIQA+ people experiencing family violence. Panelists described how complicated and overwhelming it can be to navigate services and environments, which can feel like a full-time job. They recommended a more holistic approach, where services consider the intersectionalities that impact young people and provide warm referrals and support accordingly.  

The importance of staff training, sector collaboration and the inclusion of lived experience within service frameworks was also highlighted by the youth advocates as integral to creating meaningful, ongoing change. The panel discussed how essential it is that children and young people see themselves reflected at all levels of an organisation, including as Board members.  

Prioritising the needs of children and young people in system reform  

In her keynote address, Principal Commissioner for Children and Young People Liana Buchanan noted that this event was the first time children and young people had been brought together with the specialist family violence sector in this way. 

Calling for the ongoing prioritisation of children and young people in public policy and service design, Commissioner Buchanan reflected on the immense work that has been done in this space, particularly following the Royal Commission into Family Violence, but acknowledged that there is much more to be done.  

“We cannot afford to take such a long time to improve responses to children and young people who are experiencing family violence.”

Liana Buchanan, Principal Commissioner for Children and Young People

 

Break-out room discussions 

Break-out rooms during the forum provided an opportunity for participants to reflect on specialist family violence responses to children and young people and consider future directions in policy and system reform. Key needs and priority advocacy areas that emerged from these discussions include: 

• Increased funding and resources to support children and young people 

• Tools, resources and training for services to create a safe and supportive environment for children and young people 
• Advocacy for stronger responses to children and young people within our sector 
• Embedding of lived experience to ensure services are accessible 
• Increased investment and capacity for refuges to respond to the needs of children and young people.

We would like to thank the staff, members and survivor advocates who contributed their time and knowledge to this event. We hope to continue this conversation and build on our practice and policy expertise to provide children and young people with safe and responsive support and services. 

Family violence is an intersectional social problem with far-reaching impacts that reinforce structural disadvantage and marginalisation across many different communities.  

While family violence can impact anyone, there are social, structural and systemic barriers caused by historic and ongoing discrimination that has seen certain groups excluded from or unable to access services, government programs, and equitable justice responses. Ageism, ableism, colonisation, criminalisation, homophobia, poverty, racism, sexism, transphobia and other forms of discrimination can all increase the severity and lasting impacts of family violence. 

To disrupt these barriers, responses to family violence must be inclusive, tailored and flexible. Victim survivors of family violence must be understood as the experts of their own experiences, with their own unique backgrounds, life experiences, perspectives, identities, strengths, hopes and needs. 

We have partnered with seven specialist organisations who support the most marginalised members of our community who experience intersecting forms of discrimination and violence, to provide practice guidance for tailored and inclusive family violence support. 

Read on for more information on each of the resources. 

Supporting Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people 

This practice guidance has been prepared for family violence workers who are responding to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people experiencing family violence. This may include women and children who are experiencing family violence in the context of intimate partner violence, and/or women and children experiencing family violence in the context of kinship relationships and arrangements. 

This self-directed learning guide has been developed in partnership with Djirra, written from the perspective of an Aboriginal writer with experiences and input from other Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women. It is prepared predominantly for family violence practitioners who are not Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people. 

This practice guidance is a starting point to spark more questions, think about your own practices, and continue your learning.  

Supporting children and young people 

The voices of children and young people impacted by family violence are often invisible. This guide for family violence practitioners working to support children and young people has been co-produced with Berry Streey’s Y-Change Lived Experience Consultants – a group of young people aged 18-30 with lived experience of socioeconomic and systemic disadvantage who challenge the thinking and practices of social systems through their advocacy and leadership. 

The guide explores key considerations for supporting children and young people with lived experiences of family violence and features several practical activities you can do with children or young people accessing your service. The guide is complimented by a colouring-in activity that was also co-produced by Y-Change. The artwork and colouring-in activities were created by artist and illustrator, Chadai Chamoun.  

Find out more about Y-Change’s work here. 

Supporting LGBTIQA+ People 

People of all genders, sex and sexual orientations can experience family violence. Many lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and gender diverse, intersex, queer, and asexual or aromantic people have family violence experiences that mirror those within heterosexual and cisgender families and relationships. 

Because of biphobia, homophobia, transphobia, heterosexism and heteronormativity, there are also some distinctly different risk factors and barriers to support experienced by LGBTIQA+ people.  

We’ve partnered with Switchboard Victoria to develop a tip sheet to help practitioners responding to family violence provide LGBTIQA+ inclusive support, assessment, safety planning and referrals. 

Switchboard Victoria is a community based not for profit organisation that provides a peer-based support service for LGBTIQA+ people and their friends, families and allies. 

Supporting criminalised women 

Victim survivors who have been criminalised experience high rates of family violence and trauma, and the severity and impacts of this can be significant.  

The term ‘criminalised women’ is used to encompass women who have been imprisoned, have had contact with police for other matters, and/or who engage in criminalised activities such as illicit drug use or sex work.  

Victim survivors whose experiences of family violence intersect with their experiences of being criminalised, including experiences of incarceration, may experience discrimination in the family violence response system. This can increase their risk and impact their access to safety and support. 

Flat Out is a state-wide homelessness support and advocacy service for women who have had contact with the criminal justice and prison system in Victoria. They are an independent, not for profit, community-based organisation that is managed by and for women. Flat Out is committed to co-creating safer spaces, fostering support and self-determination for sistergirls, intersex, transgender and gender diverse women. 

To support services and practitioners to provide safe and inclusive responses to criminalised women, we have partnered with Flat Out to develop a tip sheet to help family violence practitioners understand systemic harm and violence and resist systemic collusion.  

The tip sheet is accompanied by a poster for display in a service. The poster is aimed at criminalised women and seeks to empower them to access the tip sheet and provide it to a service or practitioner they are working with. 

Criminalised women informed and shaped this resource, and we thank them for generously sharing their knowledge and experiences. 

Supporting people from migrant and refugee communities 

Family violence is widespread and is not inherent to any culture, country, or community. Victim survivors from migrant, refugee, and asylum-seeking backgrounds experience the same forms of family violence as the broader community. 

Because of racism, discrimination, language barriers, and differences in cultural contexts, people from migrant and refugee communities in Australia can be disproportionately impacted by family violence because they face some distinct risk factors and experience additional barriers to support. 

inTouch Multicultural Centre Against Family Violence is a specialist family violence service that works with women from migrant and refugee backgrounds in Victoria, including women who have experienced forced marriage.  

Forced marriage is a violation of human rights, a slavery-like practice, and a form of family violence that affects many people – especially women – in our community. While forced marriage is recognised by the Family Violence Protection Act 2008 (Vic), it has been acknowledged that the family violence system needs to improve capability to identify and respond to forced marriage in the context of family violence. 

To support this, we have partnered with inTouch to co-design a tip sheet to help family violence practitioners understand what forced marriage is, the signs to look out for, and best ways to support someone who has experienced forced marriage. This practice guide draws on the position paper Forced Marriage in Australia, published by InTouch in June 2021. 

Supporting people with disability 

In July 2021, we partnered with Women with Disabilities Victoria to deliver a webinar on person-centred risk assessment with victim survivors with disability.  

Facilitated by Keran Howe, panelists from Women with Disabilities Victoria’s Experts by Experience Group, the Office of the Public Advocate and family violence practitioners contributed their diverse perspectives and experiences. Together, they explored compounding risk factors and barriers to safety that people with disability experience. 

The webinar also explored ways specialist family violence practitioners can adapt their practice to ensure people with disability feel safe, heard and supported during risk assessments.

Supporting older people 

If you are supporting someone who is older or lives with an older person, it is vital you can recognise elder abuse and respond appropriately. 

Evidence shows there is a high prevalence of elder abuse perpetrated by adult children, and this can be a complex context for practitioners to support the safety and wellbeing of elder victim survivors.  

We have developed this resource in partnership with Seniors Rights Victoria, a specialist service that provides information, support, advice, and education to help prevent elder abuse and safeguard the rights, dignity and independence of older people. 

Seniors Rights Victoria identified that practitioners would benefit from increased guidance to support them to identify elder abuse, and to uphold the rights and safety of older people in intergenerational households – particularly when the older person may not be the primary client of the service. 

Where are the gaps?

There are ongoing issues around service sustainability, demand and resourcing in the specialist family violence sector. Essentially, services need funding at a level that meets increasing demand.  

An increase in community awareness means more victim survivors feel comfortable seeking support, however without adequate funding services cannot keep up with this ever-growing client base. Services are having to triage cases, meaning those who are assessed as lower risk will wait longer for case management. Wait times are only increasing as we see more high-risk and complex cases, due in part to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. 

It is also important to note that while we know from years of anecdotal evidence that demand for family violence services is reaching unsustainable levels, meaningful and reliable data is complex and difficult to collect. Without ongoing government investment and commitment to data collection and analysis, we will never have the whole picture on demand.  

What we do know is that team leaders and managers from many of our member organisations have expressed concern at the impact demand issues are having on victim survivor safety, and staff wellbeing and mental health. Workers want to do the best for their clients but the ever-rising demand for services, and the impacts of COVID-19 have resulted in high levels of staff turnover and burnout.  

Our indicative data suggests that most specialist services are working at a significantly reduced capacity due in part to worker burnout and staff retention issues, creating added pressure for remaining staff. One specialist service reported that the number of intake and assessment staff taking mental health days increased by at least 50 per cent during 2020. Services have difficulty recruiting and retaining experienced specialist staff, meaning new and inexperienced workers are holding significant caseloads, complexity and risk. They are reporting that after two to three years, workers are moving on to other, more secure jobs outside the specialist sector – jobs that pay more and are able to provide longer-term contracts.  

System reforms arising from the Royal Commission into Family Violence, while welcomed, have meant that many services must implement significant changes to meet new industry requirements, using existing core funding. This adds extra pressure to an already buckling workforce at full capacity. 

As services grapple with unsustainable demand and resourcing issues, the lack of crisis accommodation and long-term housing remain critical system gaps that require immediate attention. Currently, in Victoria there is only capacity to accommodate 160 households in refuge. We know the need is much higher.  

This significant lack of available refuges has meant victim survivors are often placed in motels. This year, Safe Steps supported an average of 97 victim survivors in crisis accommodation each night, with some months averaging as high as 120 people per night.  

While using motels as a form of emergency accommodation has been necessary, it is not suitable for victim survivors of family violence whose lives are at significant risk. Motels are simply unable to provide the level of care and safety required.  

Another critical gap is the lack of clarity, consistency and resourcing in responses to children and young people experiencing family violence. Funding and structural limitations along with a lack of minimum standards means the system, while trying, is struggling to provide tailored, specialist responses to children and young people as victim survivors in their own right.  

What is needed?

To deliver the best quality services to victim survivors of family violence, Safe and Equal is calling for an urgent increase in funding for the specialist family violence sector. This funding must be at a level that enables the sector to respond to not just increasing levels of demand and client complexity, but to a rapidly changing service environment stemming from the unprecedented level of government and systemic reform. 

This doesn’t just mean money for more workers to deliver more services to clients – although this is also needed. It is about investing in the longevity and sustainability of the specialist family violence sector, to ensure the best outcomes for victim survivors – both adults and children.  

It means: 

• Longer-term staff contracts with a minimum of 3 years 
• Longer-term program funding 
• Increased wages for specialist family violence workers that reflect the complexity of the work, the skill set and level of qualifications required to work in the sector 
• Increased funding to support staff professional development and wellbeing, to ensure highly skilled workers remain in the sector and do not experience burnout  
• Immediate implementation of a fit-for-purpose, flexible costing model, and increasing funding for infrastructure costs, to enable all specialist family violence services to meet new requirements arising from reforms 
• An immediate increase in specialist family violence crisis accommodation to enable 320 households to be accommodated on any night, the prioritisation of 1000 dwellings for victim survivors to be built immediately as part of the Victorian Big Housing Build initiative, and a greater proportion of new social housing to be set aside for victim survivors of family violence. 

For the system to be effective, all parts must be appropriately and adequately resourced to ensure people seeking support do not encounter roadblocks. There are many reforms and changes to the system in recent years that have made for a more inclusive, integrated system. These are certainly worth celebrating. However, the very sustainability of the system is under significant pressure from issues around demand and resourcing – issues that require immediate attention to ensure improvements gained over the last five years are not in vain.  

Read our submission to the 2022 Victorian State Budget.