With a backdrop of blue skies and birdsong, we were welcomed to Country by Djirri Djirri, Wurundjeri women’s dance group. Wurundjeri woman and Traditional Owner Mandy Nicholson shared with us four layers of Wurundjeri Country, from Below Country to Sky Country before the group shared several traditional dances.

Our first session was hosted by Aunty Stephanie Armstrong, a Gamilaraay-Bigambul woman and educator. Aunty Steph spoke about how storytelling is the way First Nations people connect, build relationships and create healing.

Three key take aways were:

1. The importance of being true to your values in the life you live, the work you do and the stories you tell. When you tell stories that align to your values, no one can pull you up.
2. Deep reflection will put you on the right path: consider what you want your life to stand for, and how you want to live in this world, knowing your time is limited.
3. We need humility to truly listen. Humility is the constant willingness to learn, respecting the courage of the stories women are sharing with you and acknowledging that there is a lot of work to do. Cultural humility means working together with First Nations women in a way that is culturally safe to them.

After morning tea, we heard Safe and Equal Board Chair Maria Dimopoulos in conversation with Wollithiga woman and Djirra Deputy CEO Antionette Gentile alongside Safe and Equal CEO Tania Farha. The discussion centred around how the non-Aboriginal family violence sector can partner with Aboriginal women in a way that reflects mutual benefit and upholds Aboriginal self-determination. Antoinette and Tania reflected on their personal experiences and learnings that have arisen from the partnership between Djirra and Safe and Equal.

Three key take aways were:

1. Antoinette highlighted how non-Aboriginal organisations often want to take from ACCOs. They constantly ask “Can you help us with this? Can you input into that?” but they need to actually walk with ACCOs on the journey.
2. Genuine partnerships take a long time to establish. People shouldn’t just come to Aboriginal people and organisations when they need something. Instead, they should start building a meaningful relationship early. Tania highlighted how when partnering with Djirra, Safe and Equal invested in establishing a dedicated role for someone from Safe and Equal’s team to listen, learn and coordinate this work from within Djirra. This put the onus on Safe and Equal to observe and learn, rather than the women at Djirra to teach.
3. Tania highlighted the importance for non-Aboriginal allies in the sector to lean into discomfort, be brave and learn from their mistakes. Unless you try you won’t learn – getting it wrong is how you learn and move forward.

After lunch and a wander through the Milarri Garden Trail, we reconvened with Skye Gooch, proud Aboriginal woman and Manager of Djirra’s Individual Support Service, and Louise Simms, Executive Director of Policy, Communications and Engagement at Safe and Equal. Skye and Louise reflected on the process of developing a sector Commitment to Action for non-Aboriginal family violence services.

Three key take aways were:

1. Upholding self-determination means giving Aboriginal people the right to choice and safety. They get to choose whether they seek support from an ACCO or non-Aboriginal service, but they should always receive a culturally safe response no matter which service they choose.
2. Moving at a pace of trust means to work alongside someone, building rapport, and not trying to rush towards milestones or deliverables. It’s not about just trying to tick a box – services must respond to the individual needs of victim survivors. ACCOs recognise that each family has different needs and that responses need to be tailored accordingly. This is something non-Aboriginal services need to strive for.
3. Non-Aboriginal services must remain accountable to First Nations people, communities and organisations in their work to strengthen cultural responsiveness. Only First Nations people can tell us if this work is effective.

Wurundjeri and Ngu rai Illum Wurrung woman and Deputy Chair of Yoorrook Justice Commission, Sue-Anne Hunter spoke to us about how Whiteness is invisibly and strategically embedded within the family violence sector, and our entire society. A tool of colonisation, used to justify and erase violence against non-white communities, Whiteness requires explicit and visible attention within efforts to address harm against Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. You can read more in the paper Sue-Anne co-authored on Whiteness in social work here: The Maintenance of the Dominance of Whiteness in Australian Social Work.

Three key take aways were:

1. Whiteness is not a reference to skin tone alone; it is the norm, a set of unnamed cultural practices. It’s how White people can do and say what they please and get away with it. It’s how our systems are set up through a White lens, in ways that serve White people but aren’t culturally safe for Aboriginal people. It means First Nations people become an “other”. If we don’t tackle Whiteness, we leave White privilege untackled.
2. Sue-Anne spoke about common experiences faced by First Nations women including being labelled as the “angry Black woman”, being told to give “nicer” feedback, having “white tears” take the focus away from Aboriginal experiences, the silencing of Aboriginal voices and the constant ask for “trauma porn”.
3. Sue-Anne invited us to reflect and discuss at our tables the ways that our work upholds and reinforces Whiteness, and the ways that we could disrupt this in our work and communities. This was an uncomfortable and courageous conversation and one we must continue having as a sector.

We wrapped up our day with powerful discussions around each table, facilitated by Skye Gooch and Louise Simms. Guests explored key practices and insights from the day to determine ways we can collectively work that uphold self-determination, bring cultural humility, disrupt
Whiteness and move at the pace of trust.

Three key take aways were:

1. Non-Aboriginal services need to acknowledge that the systems and structures are racist. All practitioners are part of that system and must resist it, constantly. non-Aboriginal services must be disobedient in a way that shakes the system up. Workers are responsible to victim survivors, not the department.
2. Self-determination means being led by Aboriginal people, because they know how to take care of themselves. As service providers, we need to walk beside them, and respect that they are expert in their own lives. We are not here to dictate – we are here to listen and advocate. In the workplace, self-determination might be asking Aboriginal colleagues what programs and processes should look like or having local Aboriginal women in key positions in management and governance.
3. In recognising that each person and family has individual needs, non-Aboriginal organisations need to be flexible, creative and dynamic with their responses. ACCOs tailor their services to meet individual women’s and families’ needs, and support them on their journeys.

Before we departed to enjoy the rest of the sunny afternoon, Tania Farha shared her top take aways from the forum.

She highlighted the increasing recognition within non-Aboriginal organisations that more needs to be done, and an increasing desire to do better. She drew from her yarn with Antoinette to reiterate the importance of strong partnerships in ensuring non-Aboriginal organisations are culturally responsive. She called on non-Aboriginal leaders to address systemic racism and call it out.

The overarching message was that the sector is committed to action and story of change to support and uphold self-determination – standing beside Aboriginal people, bringing humility, disrupting Whiteness and moving at the pace of trust.